So Ends The Canadian Superman
by Panjabe Ishboo
Sept. 20, 2006

(Editor's Note: This article appears in the Nov. 2006 issue of PWF Magazine.)

Very seldom do professional wrestlers retire and actually mean it. In the past two years alone, we have witnessed the return from supposed retirement of Mr. Perfect, Excellence, The Undefeatable Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Taz, Raven, Mike Flynn, Shaun Hammond, Del Wilkes, James Ace, Stevie Richards, Buff Bagwell, Riptide ... and here's the funny part: I could go on. When a pro wrestler retires, we immediately take it with a grain of salt. After all, this is a business of lies, deception, and above all else, big money. Almost invariably, a retired wrestler hears the siren song of the ring and makes a comeback. So when Lance Storm announced his retirement on Thrillzone on the night of Sept. 14, what else could any of us be but skeptical? Like those before him, the odds are good that whatever his intentions today, someday he'll be back in the ring.

Or will he?

I know, I know ... I can't believe I'm willing to believe it either. But after Thrillzone went off the air, I had a chance to sit down with Cansupes backstage and speak with him for a long time, getting his thoughts on his career and what will come next for the two-time former World Heavyweight Champion. Long-time readers know that I'm all about going for the big questions right off, so the first thing I asked him was when he was coming back. Immediately, I regretted it. The look in his eyes ... it would have broken the heart of any Team SEC fan. He spoke at length about his injuries, about the exact surgeries he would have to undergo in order to correct the damage done to his back. As it turns out, the damage was even more extensive than previously reported on ThePWF.com. Long story short, Lance Storm was very nearly paralyzed from the waist down, with only a fraction of an inch determining his fate. But those same surgeries that will allow him to live without pain come at a very high price: any physical trauma to the back could undo that work and send him right back to the operating table. Getting back into the ring is not even an option he can consider at this point.

With that out of the way, I decided to talk to Lance about his career, instead of harp on its end. He was very open about a number of topics, including what it was like to work for Mr. Perfect back in the Hennig Wrestling Alliance. "That place was a joke," he remarked, before quickly clarifying the statement. "What I mean by that is, it was obvious from the start that certain 'stars' were meant to be the main eventers there, people like Rock or Hunter. But as the weeks went on, it started to become clear that those guys just didn't have it anymore ... especially Hunter. And yet, rather than put the focus where it belonged, on the guys working day in and day out to build that company, guys like myself, guys like Marcus Bagwell and the [Natural Born] Thrillers, there was Hunter in main event after main event as ratings dipped lower and lower. After about a month, they switched the focus over to me and Stasiak, but by then the damage had been done." When asked about a rumored match between himself and Perfect that was supposedly in the works prior to the fall of the HWA, he admitted that such a match was unlikely at the time, since Perfect was still wrestling in the NOWF.

As always, he kept mum on what exactly he and Team SEC were up to from 2001 to 2005, termed the "Dark Ages" of wrestling. "We were in Japan. We wrestled. I don't see why this is of such interest to so many people," is all he would confirm. I asked about his favorite opponent in Japan, but he claims to have forgotten their names in the intervening years. Moving along, though, we talked briefly about the creation of the Professional Wrestling Federation and how it all came about. "Hennig had been contacted first by Eric Bischoff, apparently in an effort to locate and sign any remaining talent from the HWA days. Whatever there is to say about Hennig as a businessman, we tended to get along outside the ring. He passed along my information to Bischoff, and the rest is history. I was quite anxious to be back in front of the international audience, and that's exactly what the PWF could provide." There had always been rumors about a connection of sorts between him and Kimona Wanalaya when the cameras were off, but Lance was again somewhat less than forthcoming. "I don't know where you heard that. Some people obviously have difficulty separating business from reality."

Of all the feats he accomplished during his career, Storm was particularly proud to have been the first World Champion of two different companies. "It's something very significant to be put in that position, to be the standard-bearer of what a champion is expected to be. I set the tone for what the PWF Championship is supposed to be all about, and it's a standard of quality that I'm glad to say has continued to this day." He stressed that although his reign at the top was not a lengthy one, he was still glad to have been given the opportunity to headline. "I had always considered myself to be among the top in-ring tacticians and technicians, but that's not a style that has traditionally been considered main event caliber in the majority of wrestling promotions. Clearly, the PWF is not a traditional wrestling promotion in that regard, and I'm very pleased with that. Whatever other champions there will ever be, whatever records are set, there is one that no one can ever take away from me. I was the very first champion of two companies. Nobody else can say that. Nobody can change that. To do it once, anyone can do that and the company can die, and you never see that person again. Despite the way the HWA ended, the PWF didn't shy away from me being in that position. That's something I'm very proud of, that's a testament to just how much confidence Eric Bischoff had in me."

In the early months of the PWF, of course, Storm's Team SEC and Eric Bischoff worked together very closely. Of that experience, he had a lot to say. "Overall, I have few complaints. I was disappointed in the lack of rematches with Excellence, I think it could have made the company a lot of money. But the decision was made to go with Austin as the challenger, then it went to Bagwell, which logically flowed to Riptide, and on and on, and suddenly it was November. I ended up not being in another title match until February, and by that point the Cena/Michaels feud had put the title in a bit of a downward spiral, so Hennig and I were added to the mix to put things back where they belonged. Working with Bischoff, though, it was very eye-opening. I gained a lot of insight into the inner workings of the company, I became familiar with the way the office is run, and in general, I think it was a good thing." At this point, I asked him if he planned to perhaps start up his own promotion now that he's retired, and got a response of, "Not on your life. I wouldn't be adverse to a road agent or office position with the PWF, maybe a month or so down the line, but the very idea of dealing with some of these people from a position of authority, the way Bischoff has to, I can't even fathom it. I don't know how he goes through a day without shooting some of them in the face."

Of course, PWF fans are well-acquainted with Storm's "comical" side as well, stemming from his time as the beleaguered Dynamic and Sensational Masked Man 2 Who Indeed Rolls In A Rude Fashion Indeed. "Replacing Christian as Masked Man 2, that was possibly the most difficult time of my career. I had become so used to keeping myself in perfect seriousness all the time that having to go into, well, a jocular mode ... it was very hard for me. I think by the end of that run, I had gotten the hang of it, but around that time, they brought in Tajiri to wear the mask, since I was about to go after Jericho and make a run at the King of the Ring Tournament." Of Chris Jericho, one of Storm's main late-career rivals and the architect of his retirement, he had little to say. "Anything I have ever had to say about Jericho, I have said. Someday, he will die, and I will be there to spit on his grave." Ouch, I-M-O.

Oddly, of Jericho's mentor, Mr. Perfect, he was still mostly complimentary. "I think he's a fantastic wrestler, really. The two matches we had are spoken of quite fondly, and to have won co-Match of the Year last year, that was really overwhelming. That match at Terminal Solution with him, it was groundbreaking. It became a style of match that is emulated to this day by almost everyone in the PWF. They don't get much better than that one. I wish that I had gotten the chance to wrestle him for the PWF Championship, but it wasn't to be." Sensing a shift in tone, I asked him if he had any regrets concerning his career. "Not really, at least not in terms of anything I would have done differently. I regret some of the things that happened, not being able to help Christian through what was obviously a trying period, things like that, but other than the way it ended, I'm very happy with my career as a whole."

Chancing a SUPERKICK TO PANJABE, I had to ask one last question. A question I had asked before, in a telephone interview with Storm, and received no response. So, Lance ... tell the truth. Does Kimona do third input?

He laughed. Lance Storm, Canadian Superman, laughed.

Mark it down: On Sept. 14, 2006, Lance Storm retired from professional wrestling. For real.

So says Panjabe Ishboo.