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With a Tear in My Eye
I'm all choked up.
You people know me as someone who is quick with words. I do not compromise and I do not dissemble. But today, May 3, 2007, there are no words. At least, not from "SCA." I want to step out from behind that curtain, out from under the umbrella of this character I have cultivated for the last decade. I want to really talk to you about what this milestone means to me. Honestly and directly, without my usual flippant attitude.
See, ten years ago to this day, I started the OWF. In recruiting Shadow, he was inspired to bring the SCW into the e-fed world, and from there, well, everyone knows the stories. Everyone knows how the rich history of our little e-fed world stretches all the way back to those amateurish, badly-written shows that I pounded out in 20 minutes at a time. Twenty minutes, my God. By the end of the NOWF, a single show took 4-5 hours to put together. Smooth tends to take twice that on the PWF shows of today, but he's a slow typist. The point is, "shows" that began as simple listings of matches and results grew and evolved into full-fledged transcripts that I personally - and I hope many of you feel this way as well - would put up against anything WWE or any other real wrestling promotion has ever done.
Please don't think this is me putting myself over. I'm talking about the PWF here. The PWF is - and I'm not ashamed to admit this - the best e-fed that I have ever seen, bar none. That's not to say it's perfect. It has its fair share of problems, not least of which is consistency of roleplaying. When I say it's the best e-fed I've ever seen, I'm speaking specifically of the shows themselves. Not to spoil this for anyone, but obviously TM and I help out a bit with the overall presentation of the PWF, as far as some show segments, a lot of website writeups, and other such materials. Rocket has been a contributor quite a bit as well for the site, and if he holds to form from the NOWF, then he probably makes a good deal of input on angles for the shows as well. I doubt Shadow stays on the sidelines either. In other words, what I think makes the PWF great is the fact that so many experienced people are taking such an interest in it.
It's come such a long way.
I mean, when I think about what are essentially the origins of the SCA Universe, or the PWF Universe as it's more traditionally called, it actually stretches back much further than just ten years ago. Obviously characters like James Ace and Sean Gunn date back prior to the SCW becoming an e-fed as Shadow pointed out in the SCW interview back in 2000, and a lot of my characters are also from my youth. In a lot of ways, the shared universe has its beginnings in those characters, simply because some of them have become such an integral part of it. So, because I have no idea if I have told these stories before, that's exactly what I'm going to do right now. See, I didn't start watching wrestling until much later than, say, TM. The first show I ever saw was a tape of SummerSlam 1992, about a week before SummerSlam 1993 aired, which was the first current show I ever watched.
Now, those who have seen it know that SummerSlam 1992 was one hell of a show. Bret Hart versus the British Bulldog, Randy Savage versus the Ultimate Warrior, and the simple fact that it was in front of a rabid crowd at Wembley Stadium added up to the fact that this was pretty much the perfect show to hook someone. There was the awesome "Whose corner will Mr. Perfect be in?" angle leading up to it, and like all great classic wrestling angles, it was the sort of thing where you knew exactly where it was heading, but it was still great to see the actual twist of Perfect and Flair beating the crap out of both Savage and the Warrior. Ironically, SummerSlam 1993 is pretty much a universally-panned show these days with its Luger/Yokozuna main event and disappointing HBK/Perfect match, but as an eleven-year-old kid, it was perfectly fine to me. Especially the EPIC~! ENCOUNTER~! between Bret Hart and Jerry Lawler.
I had the good fortune at this age to live in an area that was blessed with a multitude of non-Blockbuster video rental stores. Specifically, there was a grocery store and a pharmacy that each had rental kiosks inside, and both of them were dirt cheap and between them carried pretty much every major WWF show since the first WrestleMania. So over the summer, fall, and winter of 1993, I absorbed, well, pretty much every major WWF show since the first WrestleMania. I even went as far as to rent out the random WWF commercial tapes like GRUDGES, GRIPES, AND GRUNTS~! This led to some confusion when a previously-taped tag team match with Randy Savage and Bret Hart on one team had obviously been in the can for quite some time, since Savage had the WWF title, but Bret Hart was referred to as a FORMER WWF CHAMPION. Even a youngster like myself was able to pick out the strangeness of this, since once Bret won the title for the first time, Savage never held it again. But, as The Undefeatable would say, that's neither here nor there.
Armed with all this new knowledge of the history of wrestling, my friends and I began doing what all young wrestling fans do - making up our own wrestlers and performing some GRAPPLING BOUTS~! of our own. The very first ones made were, of course, Chaos and Death, the Reign of Terror. Over a six-month period or so, it became established that our matches were taking place in, oh yes, the FUTURE~! So it came to pass that there was an Ancient Warrior, basically the Ultimate Warrior in a cloak, who had his own trainees who had become wrestlers in his style. Later on, there were Cosmic and Dominion, Axeslayer, Doom, Outrage, and of course an annoying manager by the name of Johnny Asterix. There were so many more I can't remember. Eventually, there was even a trainee of one Mr. Perfect, who was called, you guessed it, Excellence. Not exactly, uh, the same guy personality-wise, but definitely influential on the Excellence of later years. Ex feuded with one of the Warrior's disciples, whose name I cannot for the life of me remember, and we were eventually supposed to do a tag team battle between Ex, Perfect, the Warrior, and his trainee. It never happened, primarily because the guy who portrayed the Warrior's faction stopped showing up. Thus the Perfect Team had ended its first careers of many to come, almost five years before the name existed.
When I first started out in e-feds in April 1997, I really had no idea what I was doing. I thought you HAD to make up your own character, that there were no real wrestler e-feds. So I immediately began bringing these characters into the online world, first Death and Johnny Asterix, then Doom, and finally Chaos as well. I can only imagine what those RPs looked like back then. All I can really remember clearly is that in one e-fed, EAOLW (which, incidentally, is where I met Riptide), Death's RPs were blue text on a black background. After a few weeks, I started using some real wrestlers, which I seem to recall the first ones I used as being Shane Douglas, Bret Hart, and Steve Austin. Again, by today's standards I'm sure they sucked, but about the only thing I can specifically recall is doing an RP as Douglas once where I basically pulled some kind of ridiculous bullshit lying spiel (so in other words, proto-Ex), and having whoever ran the fed emailing me to say that he thought it was the best thing ever.
Oddly enough, or Smoothly enough as the case may be, I'm pretty sure I lost the match that resulted from that RP. Go figure.
Everyone pretty much knows the story of how the OWF started, or at least I'm sure it's been in one of these Ramblings, so I won't rehash that. The review portion of today's festivities is at an end. From here on in, I want to really talk about this last decade... what I've liked, what I haven't, and in some cases, my regrets and hopes for the future. So, let's begin.
I think if you want to know what I'm most proud of concerning the SCA/PWF Universe is, it really all comes down to the wrestlers that have ended up getting the respect they deserved in the real world but ultimately didn't, for one reason or another. Specifically, that would be Taz, Raven, and Mr. Perfect, all of whom in the prime of their careers were simply phenomenal at what they did. I mean, when you watch a Mr. Perfect match from his prime, you know you're watching one of the all-time best workers that there has ever been. Or with Raven, especially in 1996 and 1997, you always knew you were going to get a hell of a promo and a hell of a brawl. And Taz? He was right up there with the best, with his MMA push in 1996 and intense promos. The PWF and all the e-feds before it in this universe would simply not have been the same without those three men, and yet they never got their just due in the WWF or WCW. Yes, Taz and Raven got big pushes in ECW, and they definitely deserved them, but that just wasn't as much success as they really deserved, at least in my opinion.
Of course, the bulk of the success they've achieved in the Universe comes from the roleplayers behind the wrestlers. I've had my rough spots with all three of them, but in all honesty, I can't imagine anyone but those three doing those RPs. Can you? I didn't think so. They have helped make the Universe into a glimpse into what should have been.
It's far from just those three wrestlers who have ended up as bigger stars in our little corner of reality than they ever were in the WWF, WCW, or elsewhere, though. I mean, just think of some of the people like Stevie Richards, Del Wilkes, or Lance Storm: wrestlers who have been World Champions in our e-feds, but were never true main eventers in the real world. Granted, there are some real superstars who have never come close to that level of success in the Universe, such as Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan, or on a more recent level, The Rock and Triple H. It's true that someone has to fall for another to be on top, but I like to think our version of events comes out on top. OUR version. Each and every person who has ever been a part of this, I credit them all with what we have today, good and bad. For you see, the existence of the SPRETSWELLS and Vikings33s of the world is what sets apart the ThaMadnesses and the Rockets.
You know, I keep using those names, and people are probably sitting there thinking to themselves how much I need to shut up about them. But that's not possible, particularly today. Whether you like them or not, the simple fact is that they and others have made themselves an important part of our little e-fed world through their longevity, quality of output, and dedication. To some people, it might sound ridiculous for me to apply such terms to what is in the grand scheme of things a pretty meaningless hobby. Yet, for our collective efforts to have endured this long, it must not be quite so meaningless, right? If none of this meant anything, then why did TM and I basically force Smooth into starting the PWF two years ago? Even so, three can be an aberration, but so many others came back as well. Astoundingly, the majority of the top players from the old days returned. I never imagined that would happen when crafting my first PWF RP.
That's what I'm proud of, in the end. After years of inactivity, the memory of what was done in the old days was enough to pull so many into the here and now. It's amazing to me.
Of course, the last decade hasn't been all peaches and candy. Frankly, I don't even like peaches so that analogy doesn't work, but you get the point. Just as there are dizzying heights and incredible greatness associated with our work, there are also moments that make us cringe when reliving them.
My attempt to run VCW as an e-fed, for instance, was a complete and utter failure. It was bad enough that I may never try again, to be honest. What hurts the most is that I thought I was writing some good shows, albeit late. I was pretty bitter at the time, but looking back, the New Breed did me a favor by putting a bullet into its brain. I was able to just let it be dead and not limp along any further. Maybe one day. But not today.
Then there's the fact that I really, really wish I had come up with a better name back in 1997 than the Online Wrestling Federation, and then the New Online Wrestling Federation. Basically, it prevents the federation name from being typed out in pretty much any form in the PWF, because Smooth is all about the realism. Also, it's a horrible name, objectively. I hate it and wish I could retcon it. The only thing I like is the four-letter acronym. I wonder if there's anything better NOWF could stand for.
Of course, then there's all the shutdowns. I hate that too, even if all of them were pretty much unavoidable at the time. It drives me nuts. And then here comes Smooth with his OH HAY GUYS LET'S DO A LAWSUIT ANGLE~! Bah. Him and his "I don't want to have to catch up on it when I get back so no Doom Johnson Run the Third." Did I miss the part where he somehow didn't have to catch up last time he was gone? Oh well. I've gotten to do some decent character pieces during this, so it's not a total loss.
Overall, the good has definitely far outweighed the bad, especially since most of the bad comes down to, "Well, it would've gone better if this had happened instead." Essentially, as great as this all is, I get the feeling that it could have been even better. It comes down to regrets. And as far as regrets go, there is no regret I have that is greater than the pride we should all have in what we've done.
Now we've reached the gimmicky portion of today's events. I'm going to give out some gifts, metaphorically speaking, to some of those who have made the Universe what it is today. So strap yourselves in, and be prepared for my benevolence.
To Millenium Thug, wherever your pyramid-scheme-loving ass is, I give you the Rock's career back. Also, the ability! To finish a sentence! Without interrupting! It! With exclamation marks!
To OZY 69... well, I gave you a gift once and you weren't down with it. So, nothing.
To Exodus, I give you my forgiveness for your annoying, annoying ways. And a neckbrace.
To MsPhoenyxx, I give you a demand to return to action IMMEDIATELY. The PWF requires the Natural Born Thrillers or anyone else you want to RP as. Especially with Chris Jericho a thing of the past, someone has to keep me motivated to continually up the wackiness of Edge. Upon returning, I give you a promise to never feud with your wrestlers again. Maybe even an alliance if you're lucky.
To Riptide, I give you a college degree, so you can stop being so damn busy all the time.
To Hennig77, I give you a giant novelty crayon named RED. Very few people dare to RP as the Eliminators, and even fewer can actually pull it off. Also, you sent me the entire run of the Age of Apocalypse back in '97 and that's frickin' awesome. So in return, I grant you several lengthy Spider-Man runs, even the Clone Saga if you're into that.
To Greg Mills, I give you all the Motley Crue paraphenalia in the world. You knew your stuff. You are deeply missed. I hope your surf shop made it.
To Mike Flynn, I give you these two Best Buy gift cards I've been holding onto for six months trying to find a Nintendo Revolution to spend them on, eventually finding it at a Wal-Mart. When this thing gets started up again, we're taking over, so be ready.
To Beenie, I give you freedom from Edge ever again saying "And ain't that the truth!" It'll be hard, but I will make this sacrifice to keep the peace. Oh, and be sure to check out the writeup for the Ex/Warrior Doomsday Cage match when that section gets put up. Warrior gets pimped pretty hard. I still say you should've brought back RVD instead of Cena, though.
To SPRETSWELL... no. No, I am not giving you anything. You were always terrible, and you even joined the NOWF under three different names thinking I wouldn't notice. I tolerated it for a while out of pity, but never think for a second that I was fooled.
To Vikings33, in a similar vein, I am giving you the right to shut the hell up.
To Ramses, I give you a match with Elmo the Enforcer if Greg Mills ever shows up again, just so that feud can finally be laid to rest.
To StoneColdDTA, I give you props for feuding with three separate wrestlers of mine with the same poor dude and not spontaneously combusting.
To Clevelander, I give you some of those ribs Big Dust was judging at that contest that one time. I'm keeping the Cruiserweight title, though.
To Shaun Hammond, I give you my respect. You have always been a worthy adversary. Even if I still think there's no way I lost that match at No Escape. ... You have taken a wrestler who wasn't even one dimensional in 1996-style Taz, and fleshed him out into a character worthy of the accolades he has received.
To Rocket543, I give you my apology. I said a lot of things about you last year, in anger. I should have held my tongue. You are the man. I hope that one day you can forgive me for being such an asshole.
To SHADOW316, I give you Mike Arlo's job on 106.9 The FOX. Only you can solve the Rock and Roll Mysteries! If you're lucky, Chevy will give you a free truck, too. ... Trust me, for those of us who live in southeast VA, this makes sense. Oh, and I also give you the Westside Connection 2002 theme that WEMCGroup was always going on about. AUSTIN AHMED LOD FOR LIFE AM I RITE? None of this would have been possible without you, you know. The random twist of fate that caused us to encounter each other in WWF Chat that day is what caused me to be on AOL more, and hence getting into e-feds.
To Smooth, I think I've given you enough already. I have given you my time, my effort, and my all. I have given you my best and my worst, and will continue to do so. I have given you hell, and I have given you praise. The only thing I can never give you is my agreement on those issues we will never see eye-to-eye on. Even so, there is one more thing I will give you. Peace of mind. I'm just busting your chops about Benoit. Seriously.
To everyone else, those I've forgotten, those I've neglected to list separately for one reason or another, I give you my hope that the best is yet to come.
So, those are...
What?
Oh, all right.
To ThaMadness, I give you my thanks. We rode higher and longer than most dare to dream. Maybe one day, it will happen again. In the meantime, I leave you with the highest praise I can come up with: I can see the sort of logic that leads to the thought process Smooth must have used in order to judge that one Storm/Perfect match the way he did. But if you think you're getting your three seconds at the end of The Quest before me, you're crazy.
So, those are my gifts to you all. Hopefully it wasn't too sappy.
No decade can be complete without some awards. In a way, I've just given out awards to the roleplayers themselves, so now it's time to talk about the wrestlers themselves. There's one vote for each of these categories: mine. You might agree, you might not. It's up to you. I'm not bothering to write up a full deal for Woman/Diva/Whatever You Call It of the Decade. It's Kimona. No debate. Other than that, though...
Non-Wrestling Performer of the Decade: This covers executives, managers, anyone who played a role in shows but not as an active competitor. In my mind, there are three main contenders here, specifically Eric Bischoff, Johnny Asterix, and Bobby Heenan. As great as Heenan is, though, the other two are really more influential. And while Bischoff might end up being the most powerful of them all before it's said and done, for the last ten years, Johnny Asterix has to be my pick. He has been an influential figure in four different promotions, and is poised to continue along those same lines.
Feud of the Decade: I'm a sucker for a long feud. An epic saga is what I'm all about, and in the case of this universe, there has been no long-standing feud that even comes close to Raven versus Taz. When two of the best go at it for years in four different promotions, the result is a truly memorable feud that, to me, can never be topped.
Shocker of the Decade: This is a tricky one. Plenty of things were incredibly shocking at the time, but in hindsight, should have been seen coming. Plus, there's the fact that different people are definitely surprised by different things. So it's very hard to pick just one thing for this category, and be confident that anyone will agree with me. My personal choice should probably be the Perfect Team ousting Excellence, just because it's the one thing I truly did not expect to happen. There are so many other stunners, though. I feel bad picking anything involving me in these awards, but in a lot of ways, a good portion of the decade built to that surprising moment, so I'll keep it as my choice. I reserve the right to change my mind.
Match of the Decade: Again, this is an incredibly difficult choice to make. In the end, I have to pick another one involving me, because it put the cap on two incredible careers and involved several other top-tier players all at once. Yes, Mr. Perfect v. Excellence at WrestleFest II. A future final showdown between Raven and Taz could unseat this one, but that's the only thing on the horizon I see that could do so.
Show of the Decade: Well, time for more self-indulgence, as it turns out. Top to bottom, in terms of actual writing, Fall Battle Fields 2006 has probably been the best show of them all, in my eyes. However, there are two other shows that really stand out in my mind as having been something special. Road Rage 2000, for its great main event and cliffhanger ending, and No Turning Back 1998, for being the first show I ever wrote that I still to this day think has a big-event feel to it. I love that main event angle, the creation of the New Breed. Seriously, the IC title match was the main event of that show, because it was Raven and Steve Austin. So I have to call this one a three-way tie.
Stable of the Decade: The Perfect Team. Was there ever any doubt? Spanning three promotions and capturing more titles than any group there has ever been, no alliance has ever been as fruitful. The PT proved that a team can be worth more together than the sum of its parts separately.
Tag Team of the Decade: Ohhh, it's another tough one. The sentimental pick would be Edge and Christian, but it's not them. Instead, this one is getting picked partly on merit and partly out of spite for the way the Hall of Fame voting went. There's only one team that will never be forgotten, never turned against each other, and controlled the tag team titles of two companies for the majority of their careers. The Eliminators.
Wrestler of the Decade: Well, here we are. Somehow, I'm supposed to be able to pick this one. Can someone tell me why I decided to do this to myself? Alright, well, let's run down the top contenders. Taz, for, well, you know. James Ace, for multiple World titles and running a promotion. Raven, for everything. And Mr. Perfect. Any one of them would be the right choice, let's face it. The only thing I can think of that separates any of them is that only one of them never got his comeuppance. And, as much as I wish I could say Taz or Raven here, NOWF born and bred, the man who never had to deal with defeat is Mr. Perfect. Nobody ever got over on him. We hate him for it, but it's true. There was no one better, in the final analysis.
I find myself wondering about the future. In another ten years, will this all still be going on? Will we be part of the PWF, or another e-fed, or will we all be done with this forever? The beauty of it is, we just don't know. The only thing I know is that we have all gotten progressively better as time has gone on. Already, we are putting out material I consider to be superior to the professional products out there. With ten more years of growth, what more will we achieve?
I don't know. I can't wait.
I'm still here.
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